Insecurities and the like: Jez and Morgead
by flamerider05
Summary: It's what the title says the insecurities and such of a relationship. It will be a 3-shot. Hope you like. BTW all of the insecurities stories of mine go together and have connections in them.
1. Chapter 1

2

Insecurities: Jez's story

Jez wondered if it had ever occurred to anyone sitting in this room that they would be gathered with such a diverse group. It was hardly possible, yet, here they were gathered around just like the weird group they were. Jez dully noted that they were actually discussing _her _or more specifically the Wild Powers and what to do with them to keep them safe. Some were convinced that the hideout was not secret anymore and therefore no longer safe.

Jez briefly glanced at Iliana, one of the other Wild Powers. Of all of them she was voted most likely to have a panic attack. But right now Iliana seemed fine, perhaps even better than fine. For a moment she found herself staring wistfully at Iliana's long silvery blonde hair that always seemed to be in place before Iliana glanced over at her and smiled, a sad little smile, like she was afraid the world might end at the next moment without any warning. They shared a brief moment of understanding, an understanding for their responsibility.

"So we're all in agreement then?" Thierry broke through.

Jez was startled to realize she had _no_ idea what was being agreed upon. But since everyone was nodding she went along with it.

"Good, we'll send the Wild Powers out tonight, with guards, of course."

Jez blinked and looked over at Iliana, who looked just as confused as she did. Clearly she hadn't been the only one not paying attention to her own fate. Delos, she noticed, appeared more in the loop than Thierry did. Apparently he hadn't daydreamed while they were planning his future.

Iliana, ever the ditz, raised her hand. "Um, where was it you're sending us again?"

Jez mentally thanked her. She hadn't wanted to be the one to ask.

"We didn't say. It's a secret, only the Wild Powers, their soul mates and a few guards will ever know. Not even the people in this room will be allowed to know," Hannah explained.

Iliana nodded. Jez sighed in relief. They weren't going to separate her from Morgead and as an added bonus, she wouldn't be locked away with Delos minus Maggie. It had happened once and had only lasted five minutes before they realized Delos's temper wouldn't allow for a long term separation from his soul mate. Just the thought had made him super irritable and he had blown a wall out and left, demanding that Maggie be returned to him immediately. He truly was a spoiled prince who always got his way, after all.

She felt kind of bad for poor Iliana. She had no one yet and was constantly surrounded by people who were completely devoted to one another. It couldn't be easy for a hopeless romantic like her. In fact, even if Iliana hadn't been a hopeless romantic, someone more like Keller or Jez herself it would stink to be stuck in the middle of the soul mate circle with no soul mate. Like showing up to a never ending prom without a date, to watch all the happy couples spin around in circles and make kissy faces at each other.

It would be impossible to say that Jez didn't feel sorry for Iliana, even if most of the time she was jealous of her.

"So everyone who's leaving needs to get packed. You know who you are," Thierry stated. With that the room went into motion and everyone was suddenly leaving.

Jez sighed and stood. Morgead hadn't been in the meeting for whatever reason so now she would have to go and make sure he knew to pack. She started out the door but bumped into Maggie as she was walking out.

"Oh! Hey Jez! I bet you're glad I'm going with you after last time." It was now an ongoing, inside joke between Jez, Iliana, and Maggie that Delos had nearly killed a few people just to get back to Maggie.

"You have no idea. They said, 'move Wild Powers' and I thought, 'Oh goddess, here we go again'."

Maggie laughed her sorrel eyes gleaming happily. Jez smiled, suddenly feeling a bit bitter. Why was it that she was supposedly one of the most unique girls in the group but she felt like she was the plainest one?

"Well we better go get packed," she said. Maggie nodded and ran off after Delos. Jez watched as Maggie half tackled his good arm and latched on. Maggie was confident in her relationship with Delos, something Jez had never managed to be when it came to her relationship with Morgead. Sure they were soul mates, but sometimes she felt like that was kind of like saying, 'You have to love each other, deal with it.' And when she felt like that she always remembered how much Morgead hated being told what to do. This type of thinking always made her nervous and worried.

Jez walked off toward her room, planning to go see Morgead first. She rounded a corner and smashed into the very subject of her worries and insecurities.

She almost fell. Almost. But he caught her around the waist too quickly for that to occur.

"Hey, Jez, what's the hurry?" he asked loosening his grip but not releasing her.

"They're moving us," she stated. "We have to pack. And 'we' means you, too, so get on it." She danced out of his arms, gave him a quick wave before rushing off to get packed.

She glanced back before entering her room just long enough to see Morgead standing in the hallway looking rigid. The next instant he was following her into her room.

"_Where_ are they taking us, Jez?" he questioned. Jez shrugged, making no movement to answer otherwise. Morgead sighed, "Okay then. I'll go and get packed." And then he left.

"You probably could've handled that better," came a voice from her doorway a few moments later.

"I know that. I just don't know how," Jez responded without looking up. She didn't have to look up to know it was Keller standing in her doorway.

"Just put forth the effort."

"It's hard. I mean you understand. Soul mates aren't all rainbows and kisses. And Morgead and I have a lot of history. And most of it doesn't really help. It makes it super awkward."

"I guess I can't really understand that. I didn't know Galen for long before we discovered we were soul mates. But you and I have an understanding of what it means to be uncertain and wary of relationships. And all I'm saying is that Morgead is obviously putting himself out there, it's hard on him when you push him away," Keller stated. "I know it isn't any of my business but…"

"But you're right. He's always the one to put forth an effort, but I'm so caught up in my insecurities and the past that when he does I freak out. And last time I tried to put forth an effort it made everything worse. I just can't do it! I don't know how!"

Keller stood silent for a moment. "Try starting small… like hold his hand or something… Jez, I don't know! He's _your_ soul mate!"

"I know." Keller sighed. "I'm going to try, really I am. So… don't laugh when I fail horribly."

"I won't. Good luck." And then Keller was gone too. Jez felt like beating her head against a wall. Nothing could be more torturous than going to a guy you've know your entire life and holding his hand. Especially if he's been doing all of the work in the relationship up to that point.

"Well, no time like the present," she muttered to herself, throwing the rest of her belongings in a suitcase before running out of the room. She had meant to go straight into Morgead's room without stopping to think. Unfortunately, it did not work this way. She managed to get to his door before she second guessed herself. So there she stood, hand positioned to open the door and feet moving into a position to flee before she was noticed.

Her initial plan ruined she prepared to retreat and make a new plan, but her mouth didn't appear to be working with her brain because the next thing she knew she was saying, "Morgead?" in the smallest, most pathetic voice she had ever had the displeasure of making.

This did not seem to make it any harder to hear as the door opened revealing Morgead. Behind him Jez could see that most of his things were packed.

"Hey, Jez," Morgead said. He looked slightly confused. "What's up?"

"I…" in her mind she was thinking 'I can't do this, it isn't possible, I'm going to fail, and he's going to get angry. This is really bad!' "I, um, came to see if you needed any help." It was a statement but it sounded an awful lot like a question.

"Oh," she couldn't be sure, but he sounded disappointed. "I'm almost done, actually."

"Oh, then I, um, I'll go see if I can find anything out." And she ran off entirely humiliated and feeling more like a failure than ever.

She practically slammed into Rashel as she rounded the corner, obviously it was not her day for going around corners, and both girls landed on their backs.

"Oh, ouch, sorry, Rashel," Jez apologized. She got to her feet and helped the vampire hunter/lover/helper to her feet.

"It's fine. But what's the rush? You look like if you had a tail it'd be between your legs right now and you'd be hiding in a corner."

"That's what I feel like, too. I'm regrouping from a failed attempt at something. Are you coming with us?" she asked to get the subject off of her. Keller knew the situation so she felt okay talking to her about it, but Rashel didn't and Jez didn't want her pathetic love life all over Circle Daybreak.

"Oh, yeah, I'm going with all of you. I don't know who else is going, I suspect they invited Keller, but I don't know for certain."

"I see, so does anyone know where we're going?"

"You've got me, I tried to get some information and I was shot down so fast I couldn't even regroup fast enough to ask another question," Rashel stated.

"Oh, well, then I guess I would be wasting my time trying to find out anything." Rashel nodded. Jez mentally groaned. "Well then I'll see you around," and she walked back toward her room.

She careful began plotting her fail proof plan about Morgead.

It wouldn't be easy, but she had to do _something_.


	2. Chapter 2

Insecurities: Morgead

Morgead was sitting on his bed when he realized that he was supposed to be in a meeting. He decided he ought to go and at least apologize for missing it so he stood up and walked out the door.

He walked around the corner and crashed into Jez. He knew it was Jez before he saw her simply because of the Jeziness of the air. He caught her waist on instint and loosened his grip moments later.

"Hey, Jez, what's the hurry?" he asked.

"They're moving us so we have to pack. And 'we' means you, too, so get on it."

Then she wriggled out of his arms and ran off toward her room.

He twitched irritably. It _always_ happened like that. He tried to hug her, she danced away, he tried to cuddle with her on the couch and she scooted away, he tried to kiss her, and, well the outcome was obvious.

And it had happened again.

He suddenly found himself following her. "_Where_ are they taking us, Jez?" She shrugged. Great now she wasn't even talking to him.

Sure he understood why she ran from the physical contact. After all, they had spent the better part of their lives arguing or trying to beat the crap out of each other. She really couldn't be blamed for being uncertain.

But when she pushed him away it broke his heart.

He found himself in his room so he started packing. As he packed his mind wandered to Jez. He could imagine her fiery red hair flying behind her as she rode her bike. He could remember how perfectly she had fit into his arms.

He missed the time right after they had discovered they were soul mates.

He was almost finished packing when he heard his name. He opened the door and looked at Jez.

"Hey, Jez, what's up?" he asked.

"I…" she paused. "I, um, came to see if you needed any help?"

"Oh… I'm almost done, actually," he said, wishing he didn't sound so disappointed.

"Oh, then I, um, I'll go see if I can find anything out. And then she ran off her long, red hair flying behind her.

He realized belatedly that he had reached out to her as though to try and keep her from fleeing. He dropped his arm.

"Ugh," he groaned. He slammed the door and began hitting his head against it.

"Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?" he questioned/demanded each time his head made contact with the door.

At the rate he and Jez were going, in three years she might be able to talk with him like she used to. Maybe before the end he would get to kiss her again (though that wasn't looking hopeful).

He wanted to be able to protect her, but she spent most of her time afraid of him. He wanted to be able to wipe away her tears, but most of her tears were his fault to begin with.

He loved her. Oh, gracious, he loved her. And no matter what he did he hurt her. No matter how hard he tried, he always scared her or made her cry or fill-in-the blank.

She probably would've been better off with Hugh, scrawny twit that he was. The thought of Jez even holding hands with Hugh made Morgead feel ill. _His_ Jez with Hugh.

Not that she was. She _wasn't_, he forced himself to think. But that wasn't the point. Hugh never scared her or made her cry. And Hugh loved Jez, too.

And Jez, as much as Morgead _hated_, despised really, to admit it, Jez loved Hugh. If it hadn't been for the Soul Mate Principle… Morgead shuddered.

But Hugh wouldn't be wherever they were going. Everyone, except Iliana, who was going had a soul mate. He would have no one to worry about stealing Jez from him… except for Jez herself.

And though he had little faith in his ability to make Jez happy like she was in the old days he had complete faith in his stubbornness.

He finished packing and walked out the door. He watched as Quinn carried five boxes, full of weapons, female clothing, and other such things, toward the stairwell.

"Taking Rashel's stuff down for her?" he asked.

Quinn nodded, not looking at him. Morgead wondered if that would make Jez happy, too. Quinn went out of his way to protect and assist Rashel, so it only made sense that their relationship appeared so perfect. If he helped Jez the way Quinn helped Rashel… Jez would be happier with him… probably. And maybe it would start helping their relationship.

Morgead headed to Jez's room. He would take his cue from Quinn this time around.


	3. Chapter 3

Securities: Jez and Morgead

Jez had finally come up with her foolproof plan. The only problem was there were so many variables that it wasn't really foolproof.

But she had to go through with it. So she stood at Morgead's door waiting. She steeled herself, refusing to be afraid this time. She had planned everything so she wouldn't get to a place where she didn't know what to do.

She had already knocked on the door so now she was just waiting. Where was he?

Apparently not in that room, she decided. She knocked again for good measure and then walked in. "Morgead, are you in here?" She looked around and confirmed that he was, in fact, not in the room. She walked the rest of the way in and sat on the edge of his bed. He had pretty much destroyed her original plan by not being there.

She picked up his pillow, one of the few items in the room that wasn't packed, and held it close. It smelled like him, she decided after a moment.

The door opened at about the time she buried her face in the pillow.

"Jez?" Morgead's voice questioned. "What are you doing?"

"mmph… mmph… mmphmmphmmph," Jez said into the pillow.

"Could you be a little clearer?"

Jez lifted her head. "I came in here to… umm… never mind, I can't say it. The words will not come out."

"O…kay…"

She got off the bed, blushing severely.

"No… I have to say it… its important…" Now Morgead was looking at her like she was going crazy… and maybe she was.

She moved toward him but stopped about three feet away. She was wringing her hands and looking effectively humiliated.

"Jez…" he trailed off like he wanted to help her but didn't know how.

"Could you, um… close your eyes?"

Morgead raised his eyebrows but did as she asked.

She moved so she was only a few inches away from him.

"I… I'm sorry," she murmured. "I'm sorry I'm such a lousy soul mate and that I'm always running away from you. I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings but I… I really do love you." Morgead had wisely stayed silent through this whole speech, probably because he understood that she _needed_ to give it. But upon her last words he opened his eyes.

"Jez…" he whispered. He leaned in close to her, putting his arms around her waist and pulling her closer. "You aren't a lousy soul mate, and even with all of the things that are weird in our relationship I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm glad it was you." He paused for a moment, making sure that he had her full attention. "And I love you too."

And then he started laughing.

Jez growled. "_What_ is so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing," he kept laughing. "It's just… it occurred to me that Quinn stole Rashel's stuff, and I totally thought he was taking it downstairs for her."

Jez stared at him for a moment. "And this is funny how?"

"Because I thought, 'wow, I think I'll do that for Jez' so I took your stuff down… and he wasn't helping her at all. I guess it's hard to explain why it's so funny."

But Jez was already laughing, and crying. "You're so oblivious, you idiot."

"But I'm your idiot."

"Always." And she kissed him to prove it.


End file.
